Mouths of Babes

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I have completed my seventh year teaching Kindergarten. Sometimes the children can say the funniest things. Here are a few quotes from students-past and present-I like to call: Out of the Mouths of Babes. Feel free to add any hilarious quote from a child to this thread-just remember to change their name. 🙂

My first year of teaching: Johnny raises his hand and I call on him and he says “Miss Mercedes, why is your hair three different colors”? I bet you can guess who I immediately called after school was over-My hairdresser.

To understand this one, you have to read my Moon Climber post. Injured Student comes into school the next morning and waves his cast in Mrs. Secretary’s face and says, “I told you, you should have called my mom!”

I had Injured Student’s older brother in my class a few years ago. He had difficulty making the /l/ sound as in log. One day I asked him how his ballgame went. He replied: “We yost. We aways yoose.”

Parent/Teacher Conferences: Talking to “Johnny’s mom and she tells me that she always asks Johnny how his day went.

Yesterday she asked, “So Johnny, how did your day go?”

Johnny replied, “I did fine, but Miss Mercedes had a bad day.”

Mom asks why and he replies, “Because a bunch of us pulled our card to black.”

He meant a bunch of children did not make good choices ALL day.

I love it!

hanitizer = hand sanitizer

Feel free to add anything here on Out of the Mouths of Babes…I’m looking for more laughs.

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30 Responses

  1. It’s really hard not to laugh when your kid learns to say “friggin'”. But there comes a point when you have to stop laughing and take it seriously. Because friggin’ is a gateway drug.

    So my 3 y/o and I are grocery shopping and he wants a pirate gun. I say fine, but he has to be super duper good, not just good, and we’ll get it at the end. The rest of the trip, without whining and crying, he informs me that he just wants “the friggin’ gun, please”. I politely but sternly remind him that he can’t use that yucky word. And what does he say?

    “But I *have* to say ‘please'”

    LMAO! Children are amazing-naive-and oh so honest! Many of my students will often say “What the…”.
    I do not like this phrase because of what it implies, but the children probably do not even have a clue to what it means (some might-hehe), they have just heard it before. If I do hear a child say it, I just politely ask them to not say this anymore in the class-and hope they do not ask for a major explanation as to why.

  2. My husband uses curse words a lot (in Spanish) so my daughter has caught on and started using them. I opened up her baby brother’s stinky diaper and she said, “A su madre!” which is loosely translated as “son of a . . .”

    I like the new lay-out of your blog Mercedes!

    I might have to start saying that phrase too-lol. Thanks fightingwindmills!

  3. Yeah, it was an appropriate thing to say, considering how bad that diaper was. 😆

    ROFL!

  4. I have a story. This is a Christmas time story:

    My cousin’s daughter was telling us a story about her visit with Santa at the mall. She was 3 at the time. She sat on Santa’s lap and got her picture taken. Santa gave her a candy cane. When she came back to her mommy she said, “mommy, I told Santa I wanted a Barbie doll. He gave me a candy cane! This isn’t a Barbie doll! WHAT?”

    It was too funny and too cute.

    Bless her! A three year old’s way of cussing-hehe.

  5. ***Potty humor warning***

    My daughter just said, “I have lots of pee in me. Hundreds of pee.”

    Oh my goodness-I just about splorfed Sundrop everywhere! How old is she? Ask her if she got all of the hundreds of pee out of her-lol! Children-so sweet, innocent and pure…and have to be brought up in this crazy world-Bless!

  6. She’s 3, will be 4 in March. She just learned that “hundreds” means “a lot” the other day so she’s now looking for the chance to use that expression. She was on the toilet when she said that, so yes, the hundreds of pee came out. I’m glad it made you laugh. 😆

    ROFL!

  7. I love ‘out of the mouths of babes’. They sound adorable! FW.

    We were out with my grandson and hubby wanted to take him to the bathroom as the trip was pretty long for a little guy. Hubby came out trying not to laugh.. Little bit said, “It won’t work peepaw, it wont work!”:)

    LOL!

  8. The dentist is at our school this month doing check-ups and sealants…One of my students visited the dentist today and when he returned to the classroom, he said: “That tooth fairy stuff tastes yucky”.

    Another student always asks if he can get a “tennis shoe” which means “tissue”.

  9. My 5 year old STILL insists that we stay in “ho-towels” on vacation, no matter how many times we tell her its a “hotel”.

    Too Cute!

  10. hanitizer…I will add that to my vocabulary 🙂

    Isn’t it too cute? Thanks for stopping by!

    Happy New Year!
    Woof!

  11. My 9 yr. old daughter and I just watched several episodes of Jon & Kate Plus 8, one of which included Kate showing her post-sextuplet pregnancy belly, and this was my darling daughter’s response:

    “Hmmm, Mom, you have so much blubber – I think you had sextuplets but you sold them on eBay.”

    Such a sweet daughter-lol. Thanks for adding this here. Feel free to add more to this page.

  12. Perfect boy (age 11) came into my bathroom a couple days ago while I was drying my hair and said “How’s my loving mom today?”. *sniffle*

    How sweet! So what did he want? LOL-jk.

    WOOF!

  13. LOL LOL!!! He didn’t want anything….isn’t that somethin?!

    MEOW

    LOL! WOOF!

  14. I was putting away my daughter’s art supplies and she asked me, “Mama, are you oo-nigaizing?”

    When she was 2 years old she used to call ketchup “check-up” and she called our friend Jessica “Jeck-issa.”

    LOL! Too cute!

    Child with broken arm~his older brother used to say:
    chicken and spickets (biscuits)

  15. My six year old son went to the grocery store with my husband – when he got back I asked him, “Did you help daddy find everything on the list?” he replied, ” yes, but he had a hard time finding the bandaids.” I just looked at puzzled and said, “bandaids?” and he said “yeah, you know….the ones with wings.” : )

    Oh My! I am eating cereal for lunch and I almost splorfed my milk/cereal everywhere. ROFL! Thanks for stopping by!

  16. I had to add this! Last night Young Son was laying beside me in bed and he sat up and said, “Mom, I don’t know about big things. I do know I love you.” MELT MY HEART! Deb

    How precious! You can tell him that is a big thing! Especially if he loves you to the moon and back! Mere

  17. I was a preschool teacher before I quit to write full-time. One day on the playground, I heard one of my little darlings let out a blood curdling scream. I went rushing over only to hear her tell the other girl on the slide, “You are NOT supposed to hit me back! You are supposed to go tell the teacher!” I walked quietly away 🙂

    Thanks for stopping by here and leaving some more humor for us! This is hilarious! I will have to pass it on at school. However did you walk away? LOL

  18. When I was in high school, I had to do service hours through my church in order to get Confirmed (Roman Catholic). One of the things I did was assist in the Sunday morning Children’s Liturgy where a simpler version of the Gospel was read to the children of the parrish and it also allowed discussion. One particular morning, the Gospel mentioned Jesus going to a Synagogue. The teacher asked the kids if anyone knew what a Synagogue was. One child answered, “It’s a place where Jewish people go.” The teacher said that’s right! Does anyone know what they do there?
    A little girl was SO excited because she KNEW the answer.
    She was called upon and in a sweet, innocent voice she said, “Worship the devil.”

    I’m not making that up. It was funny and everyone laughed, but it’s kind of shocking what young minds will think of (or what they might be hearing at home or wherever). This girl couldn’t have been more than 4 years old. The teacher’s eyes got really big when that came out of her mouth!

    ROFL! Yes it is crazy how many are brought up believing or saying things because they have heard it at home. And the family values are carried on and on and on. It is sad a lot of times! Never-ending cycle too!

  19. My daughter just turned 4 last week. I am teaching her to read, so I asked her to find the word “book” on the page. I want her to be able to pick out familiar words. So, she is looking for it and thinking out loud, “Hmmm . . . the letter b sure can hide, but it sure can’t run.” LOL!!!!!!

    LOL! That’s good! She sounds like she is gonna be a smart one! Woohoo!

  20. I just discovered this post…I am loving these! what a great laugh!
    My aunt told her granddaughter that she put her shoes on the wrong feet.
    Puzzled, she replied “But MaMa, these are the only feet I have!!”

    SPLORF! ROFL!

  21. Also potty training words– my dd made everyone laugh when I asked her while sitting on the potty if she’d gotten the pee and poop out. She informed me, no, “It’s stuck.” Her graddad said he had that problem, too. LOL.

    Too cute! Thanks for the addition! Come on back anytime!

  22. Ok, if we are going for potty humor…
    I was changing my son’s dirty diaper and exclaimed “WHOA!”
    He asked, “Is it a good one?”
    ROFL! He must have heard that from his dad.
    *waving to Boo* glad you found some of my online friends. they are cool!

    Splorf! I don’t have children but these comments arise with Patch-lol! Did he #1 or #2? And we have discussed poop often-LOL! So who is Boo Sr.? I hope he comes back again!

  23. Boo is actually a woman, and one of my REAL LIFE friends…who is sworn to secrecy to help protect my secret identity! -lol- she must’ve clicked on you from my site.

    Boo’s daughter and my son are friends. He has decided that since they go to each other’s houses to play that must make her his “cousin”. so cute!

    I KNEW you were going to say that! I just assumed with the Sr. part it was a he! I just KNEW it-LOL! Secret identity? Crazy Woman! You crack me up! Sorry Miss Boo!

  24. Wow, people want to talk about *me* and want to know who I am. I explained myself on Goldie’s site. By the way, that was the name of my fave doll as a child. She had been left at my grandfather’s pediatrician office, and most of her hair had been chewed off. By the time I got through with her (I still have her), she was missing a leg and the middle fingers on one hand– she wouldn’t fit through the tight doll clothes! Anyway, I came back to tell more of my babe’s witticisims–

    More potty humor– we talk about listening for the plops on the potty, so now she starts singing, “Round and round, the mulberry bush, PLOP goes the weasel!”

    Do you know what *Daddy* is? To my child, since her father puts jelly on his waffles, she now says she wants “Daddy on her waffles.” LOL. Some shrink would really love to analyze that one!

    So sorry I assumed you were a he! I just KNEW I would be wrong-lol! Now I will be thinking of PLOP anytime I sing this song-hehe! Yes I am curious about the Daddy on waffles! Thanks so much for your contributions!

  25. I got one more, but not quite as cute. She said tonight, “Oh, pickles.” Not sure, but perhaps she said something more colorful at preschool, and they suggested that. Or, maybe it’s one more of her very own version of the English language.

    I had a special education student for 2 years and he started saying “Big Pickle”. We believe he was trying to say something else but we always said “You big pickle” and he continued saying it too. We still say that and he still says it back as he laughs away, I say it at home to my dog, Patch and it gets his ears perked up. I think he has a dog buddy named Big Pickle too-lol! Keep ’em comin’ girl!

  26. Boo, it’s from Higglytown Heroes. The little girl says it. Awww pickles!

    Now we know-lol!

  27. My daughter gets the National Geographic Kids magazine. This month’s cover has baby wolves on it. She asked me how fast I thought baby wolves could run. I told her, “Probably about as fast as a dog would.” And then she asked, “What’s a dogwood?”

    Splorf~so did you go into another lesson on trees? LOL

  28. No, not a lesson on trees, but a lesson on verbs. 😛

  29. oh. yesterday at the pool, Little man was getting in at the steps. He didn’t want to get in the water because “it was cold on his penis”

    Splorf-WOW! Good one-lol!

  30. Here’s another gem:

    We were eating dinner last night. The kids had hamburger, peas and noodles. Little Man asked Daddy what he should eat, “Peas or noodles?”

    Daddy said, “How about your hamburger.”

    Little Man replied, “That is not an option.”

    **SPLORF!**

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