Lawyers

Hump Day Humor is hosted by Mercedes at Mercedes Rocks!

Theme: Lawyers

I am not really in a humorous mood right now-so this isn’t really a humorous post, but I just received an email from my SIL and she is a lawyer (along with my brother)-how appropriate. Anywho-she was randomly chosen out of some 80,000 Texas layers to be on the State Bar of Texas website. Just click on the link below and scroll down and she is at the bottom. Her name is Sylvia. Come on back and let me know what you think.

http://www.texasbar.com/

Posted by Mercedes at Mercedes’ World at https://mercedesrules.wordpress.com and only for Mercedes’ World

Double-Decker Bus

Hump Day Humor is hosted by Mercedes at Mercedes Rocks!

Theme: Blondes

Double-Decker Bus

Two bowling teams, one of all blondes and one of all brunettes, charter
a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in Atlantic City.
The brunette team rides in the bottom of the bus and the blonde team
rides on the top level.

The brunette team down below is having a great time, when one of them
realizes she doesn’t hear anything from the blondes upstairs. She
decides to go up and investigate.

When the brunette reaches the top, she finds all the blondes frozen in
fear, staring straight ahead. She says, “What the heck is going on up
here? We’re having a grand time downstairs!”

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Getting Older

Hump Day Humor is hosted by Mercedes at Mercedes Rocks!

Theme: Getting Older

(Just got home at 9:00 p.m. CST-aaahhhh! Tomorrow is registration for the whole school-just 2 hours-whew! I am so not ready-lol)

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Here’s Your Sign

Hump Day Humor is hosted by Mercedes at Mercedes Rocks!
Theme: Signs

Just click on the pictures to enlarge them. You may leave a comment for a picture and/or leave me a comment here! 😉

Posted by Mercedes at Mercedes’ World

Baked Beans

Hump Day Humor is hosted by Mercedes at Mercedes Rocks!

Theme: Surprises

One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I would be late because I had to walk home.

On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.

Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly, “Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight.” He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table.

I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call.

The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill.

I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage…

Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.

My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.

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Bruce Loves Jenny

Hump Day Humor is hosted by Mercedes at Mercedes Rocks!

Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Theme: Marriage

Little Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they know they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Bruce goes to Jenny’s father to ask him for her hand.

Bruce bravely walks up to him and says, “Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage.”

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Do You Know?

Hump Day Humor is hosted by Mercedes at Mercedes Rocks!

Theme: Cars/Automobiles/Vehicles

Do You Know?

What is a 710 knob?

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