Double-Decker Bus

Hump Day Humor is hosted by Mercedes at Mercedes Rocks!

Theme: Blondes

Double-Decker Bus

Two bowling teams, one of all blondes and one of all brunettes, charter
a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in Atlantic City.
The brunette team rides in the bottom of the bus and the blonde team
rides on the top level.

The brunette team down below is having a great time, when one of them
realizes she doesn’t hear anything from the blondes upstairs. She
decides to go up and investigate.

When the brunette reaches the top, she finds all the blondes frozen in
fear, staring straight ahead. She says, “What the heck is going on up
here? We’re having a grand time downstairs!”

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We Salute You-Worst Parent Ever

This is from one of my best friends. She turned this story in to her local radio station and they saluted her-lol! This is from the radio. Just click below and listen to the short, one minute radio commercial! Have fun!

We Salute You-Worst Parent Ever

Getting Older

Hump Day Humor is hosted by Mercedes at Mercedes Rocks!

Theme: Getting Older

(Just got home at 9:00 p.m. CST-aaahhhh! Tomorrow is registration for the whole school-just 2 hours-whew! I am so not ready-lol)

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A Little Humor

Hello All! I just go home at 9:00 p.m. CST-aaaahhhh! Does anyone know how to post Media Player Videos? This is all I have tonight. Here is a joke for ya!

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of Tampax and proceeded to the checkout counter. The man at the counter asked the older boy, “Son, how old are you?”

“Eight”, the boy replied. The man continued, “Do you know how these are used?”The boy replied, “Not exactly, but they aren’t for me. They are for him.

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Here’s Your Sign

Hump Day Humor is hosted by Mercedes at Mercedes Rocks!
Theme: Signs

Just click on the pictures to enlarge them. You may leave a comment for a picture and/or leave me a comment here! 😉

Posted by Mercedes at Mercedes’ World

Baked Beans

Hump Day Humor is hosted by Mercedes at Mercedes Rocks!

Theme: Surprises

One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I would be late because I had to walk home.

On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.

Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly, “Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight.” He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table.

I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call.

The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill.

I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage…

Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.

My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.

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The Bathtub Test

During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the Director, “how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.”

“Well,” said the Director, “we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.”

“Oh, I understand,” I said. “A normal person would use the bucket because it’s bigger than the spoon or the teacup.”

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