S is for Survivor

Hump Day Humor Ninth Edition

Theme: Teachers

Hump Day Humor is hosted by ME at Mercedes Rocks. Please go here to participate and view more participants posts!

The Next “Survivor”?

Have you heard about the next planned “Survivor” show?

  • Three businessmen and three businesswomen will be dropped into 3 elementary school classrooms for 6 weeks.
  • Each business person will be provided with a copy of his/her school district’s curriculum, and a class of 28 students.
  • Each class will have five learning-disabled children, three with ADD, one gifted child, and two who speak limited English.
  • Three will be labeled with severe behavior problems.
  • Each business person must complete lesson plans at least 3 days in advance with annotations for curriculum objectives and modify, organize, or create materials accordingly.
  • They will be required to teach students, handle misconduct,implement technology, document attendance, write referrals, correct homework, make bulletin boards, compute grades, complete report cards, document benchmarks, communicate with parents, and arrange parent conferences.
  • They must also supervise recess and monitor the hallways. In addition, they will complete drills for fire, tornadoes, terrorists and shooting attacks.
  • They must attend 100 hours of workshops, faculty meetings, union meetings and curriculum development meetings.
  • They must also tutor those students who are behind and strive to get their 2 non-English speaking children proficient enough to take the (State Required) tests.
  • If they are sick or having a bad day, they must not let it show.
  • Each day they must incorporate reading, writing, math, science, and social studies into their program.
  • They must maintain discipline and provide an educationally stimulating environment at all times.
  • The business people will only have access to the golf course on the weekends, but on their new salary they will not be able to afford it anyway.
  • There will be no access to vendors who want to take them out to lunch,and lunch will be limited to 30 minutes.
  • On days when they do not have recess duty, the business people will be permitted to use the staff restroom as long as another survival candidate is supervising their class.
  • They will be provided with two, 40-minute planning periods per week while their students are at activity classes.
  • If the copier is operable,they may make copies of necessary materials at this time.
  • The business people must continually advance their own education on their own time, and pay for this advanced training themselves.
  • This can be accomplished by moonlighting at a second job or marrying someone with money.
  • The winner will be allowed to return to his or her former job.

Advertisements

8 Responses

  1. lol.
    seriuosly, i don’t know how you do it. i have so much respect for teachers.

    Thank you! Much appreciated! If only we could teach-really!

  2. and I SERIOUSLY DO know how to spell…

    You’re too funny! I would have fixed it for you-I’m good at when I comment on a comment I edit for spelling-lol! The teacher in me I guess! Now I gotta leave it to explain this comment-ROFL! Thanks for coming over!

  3. Nice one Mercedes! I love it.!

    Happy Hump day!

    Thank you! I appreciated you teacher quotes and your teacher jokes were hilarious! Thanks again for playing!

  4. I’d say it’s too funny if it weren’t so true. Not enough people realize what and who a teacher is nor do they have the proper respect for them. Keep up the good work.

    Thank you, Tamy! That means a lot! Your Hump Day Humor was hilarious! I will be definitely be paying more attention from now on-lol!

  5. It’s a job you can keep, i wouldn’t have the patience, especially with any naughty bratty kids.
    If only this survivor series was real, It’d be a good laugh 🙂

    I believe I will be changing my profession after this year-lol: naughty kids-hehe! Just kidding! AFLAC!

  6. Lol, I love this.

    Glad you enjoyed it!

  7. Hehe Sounds like the hardest Survivor yet. 🙂
    If you can read this, thank a teacher!

    LOL! You’ve said that before~If you can read this, thank a teacher. I keep forgetting to add it to my teacher posts!

  8. Too Funny! I love it. People just don’t realize.

    You said it! And you’re Mom definitely knows!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: