Thursday Thirteen #5

This meme is hosted by Carol at Thursday Thirteen

13 Funny (some are tacky-lol) Quotes

  1. Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.-Robin Williams
  2. Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.-Roseanne
  3. Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.-Billy Crystal
  4. You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, “My God, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!”-Dave Barry
  5. According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.-Jay Leno
  6. I am not the boss of my house. I don’t know how I lost it. I don’t know when I lost it. I don’t think I ever had it. But I’ve seen the boss’s job and I don’t want it.-Bill Cosby
  7. We have women in the military, but they don’t put us in the front lines. They don’t know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, “You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms.”-Elayne Boosler
  8. There’s a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what’s the problem?-Jay Leno
  9. When the sun comes up, I have morals again.-Elayne Boosler
  10. There’s very little advice in men’s magazines, because men don’t think there’s a lot they don’t know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, “I know what I’m doing, just show me somebody naked.”-Jerry Seinfield
  11. If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.-George Carlin
  12. Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.-Lewis Grizzard
  13. The problem with the designated driver program, it’s not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.-Jeff Foxworthy

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

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Memes: If you like to play, I am hosting two new memes (Scrumptious Sunday & Hump Day Humor) at my other site: Mercedes Rocks. These have finally been added to The Daily Meme! Woohoo! Please come on over and check it out! I would love to have you participate! Thanks!

Reminder: If you belong to one of the following blogrolls, I have something for you: Yummy Blog Award. Blogrolls: A1 Dogs & 2 Cats, Blog Buddies, Blog Meme Peeps, Blog Party Peeps, and Bloggers = Fun!

13 Responses

  1. That is too funny:) Great list. Happy TT.

    Thanks! I really enjoyed the 13 things you can’t do without!

  2. Hi Mercedes – good to meet you! These are great. Thanks for sharing. I’m heading over to check out your other blog 🙂

    Thanks for visiting and for checking out my other blog too! WOW-you have been through some major stuff since August. I hope your health is improving!

  3. Hee hee!

    Lost Hemisphere’s Thursday Thirteen #8:
    Shattered Reflections of CCG’s Contest!

    Thanks for stopping by! The contest was too difficult for me. Good luck with it!

  4. Fun post and all so true!

    Thanks! I really enjoyed your list of words to live by!

  5. I love good quotes. I did Clever Quotes this week. Check it out. Happy T13!

    I loved your quotes! Thanks for stopping by!

  6. Funny list

    Thanks! I enjoyed your list about authors too! I love Louisa May Alcott!

  7. I’m always the designated driver. I like the idea of dropping them at the wrong house. :o)

    LOL! I enjoyed your 13 chuckles from the interweb!

  8. Thanks for the chuckles today. Laughter is always good and I’ll remember a couple of these to share with others. Thanks for sharing. My T-13 is ‘wordless’ today but should generate smiles too ;–)
    Hugs and blessings,

    Thanks for coming over! Ohhhhh-I really enjoyed your 13 adorable puppies! You got me smiling! 🙂

  9. thanks for the morning laughs

    You are so welcome!

  10. And Robin Williams is going through another one right now. LOL

    My favorite quote is: My goal in life is to the the person my dog thinks I am. Most definitely

  11. I agree with 4urpets. I like all your quotes.

    Thank you! Thank you very much!

  12. funny . . . great job!

    Thanks! I really enjoyed your list of things you should be doing: especially picking up dog poo-lol!

  13. Hilarious TT! thank you for sharing 🙂

    You’re welcome! I really enjoyed the memories and facts about your grandfather! I can feel the love!

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