Where to Live

      unitedstatesmap.jpg

You can live in Phoenix , Arizona where…..

1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
2. You’ve experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5. You know that “dry heat” is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.
6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??

You can Live in California where…   

1. You make over $250,000 and you still can’t afford to buy a house.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought

              
You can Live in New York City where…

1. You say “the city” and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan .
2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can’t find Wisconsin on a map.
3. You think Central Park is “nature,”
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
5. You’ve worn out a car horn.
6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

                  
You can Live in Michigan where…

1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco .
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for deer.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.

              
You can Live in the Deep South where…

1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2. “y’all” is singular and “all y’all” is plural.
3. “He needed killin'” is a valid defense.
4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, MARY BETH, etc.

                          
You can live in Colorado where…

1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4.The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

AND You can live in Florida where…

1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind — even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people, and have their turn signals on (for miles).

Where do you live?  Where would you like to live?

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5 Responses

  1. Mercedes, I see you like the funny emails. I have some that I will send you. 😉 You may post them as you wish.

    Thanks~looks like we are now email forward buddies too!

  2. OK. I sent you 5 emails. One is a duplicate because I used the wrong email address. 😳 Hope they make you laugh today. I was looking at them because I needed a laugh! I promise, no more cooky joke emails.

    Oh Ya~they were hilarious! Thanks!

  3. I live in IL where

    …The state animal is the construction horse
    …the seasons are freezing, rainy, humid and Autumn

    LOL! When my brother lived in Dallas and I was visiting him: we would be driving down the road and he would say there is our state bird: construction crane-hehe! I live in TN~the weather is anything~70 degrees on Christmas and freezing a few days later. Hot and humid in the summer…major drought last year.

  4. I live in California and:

    Items 1 and 4 don’t apply.

    I would add “EARTHQUAKES” TO #6

    AND

    I would add a #7 , “YOU CALL YOUR GOVERNOR, “THE GOVERNATOR”

    I love #7!

  5. This gave me the giggles. I’ll have to think about “Utah” and get back to you.

    Glad you stopped by! Let me know about Utah-hehe!

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