New Drugs on the Market

   

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St. Mom’s Wort – Plant extract that treats mom’s depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.

Empty Nestrogen – Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn’t wait til they moved out.

Flipitor – Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

Antiboyotics – When administered to teenage girls, is highly effective in improving grades, freeing up phone lines, and reducing money spent on make-up.

Buyagra – Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree.

Extra Strength Buy-one-all – When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with a really bad club music CD or a book by that awful television doctor.

Jack Asspirin – Relieves the headache caused by a man who can’t remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.

Anti-talksident – A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers.

Ragamet – When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as ragging on him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.

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3 Responses

  1. Rusty’s mom: These are funny! I love it.

    I’m glad you like! WOOF!

  2. Girlfriend, I love them all!!!! lol

    These are too funny~wishing some were for real-lol!

  3. I need the Flipator, want the Ragamet..
    Whoo Hoo, too fun Mercedes!

    Glad you like~my Mom sent me this.

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